Hello
Namaste
Bonjour
Salve
Hola
We live in a multicultural world where different ethnicities speak their tongues. And through these languages, we share our ideas, connect and communicate with other fellow humans.
But do you know if we do not follow basic etiquette, language can also alienate?
In a recent social experience, I was chatting with another human, and then the third human joined us. In no time, the two humans started conversing in their native language. I didn’t understand their language, so I gazed around, waiting for them to finish. Finally, I gave up and excused myself to look for someone else.
I was left out and I came out feeling unwelcome.
For the fun of it, now let’s travel to space. Picture yourself that you’ve landed on Mars as part of the space vacation, and you’re surrounded by Martians who are talking with each other in their alien language.
Because you don’t understand their language, you can’t participate in their jibber-jabber. Martians might as well be planning your execution OR scheming to push you off the planet, OR even worse, they might be preparing to perform experiments on you in their top-secret lab.
If you’re one in a gazillion humans with a highly optimistic predisposition, you might believe that the Martians consider you a supreme being and were discussing ways to worship you.
The bottom line is you have no idea of their game-plan because you don’t understand their language.
Now erase the previous thoughts and start a new thread of imagination.
On this visit to Mars, you possess a superpower to understand the Martian language. You are relieved that the jibber-jabber was not because aliens were planning your execution, but apparently, Mars recently opened their bar business, and this is their usual happy hour.
Weren’t you comfortable in the setting where you understood the language?
Exactly my point.
Now let’s return to our earthly conversations.
Meeting someone who speaks your native or first language is undoubtedly a prized encounter. You feel an instant connection, and as an automatic reflex, you start conversing in your native language.
In a group setting, even though it is super tempting to talk in your native language, it is impolite to do so when others can’t understand it. If you or someone still insists on conversing in a different language, there are etiquettes to make the situation comfortable for the third person:
1) Express and translate: Consider saying something on this line to the third person, “I’d like to exchange few sentences in our native language. But please stay here; we’ll translate it for you so we all can participate.” And translate the text, so everyone is involved.
2) Divert: If another person starts talking in your native language, divert the conversation back to the common language the group understands. I’ve found myself doing this a lot.
3) Excuse: For any reason, you have to talk in another language not common to the group. You can always kindly excuse yourself from the group and have a separate conversation.
Not speaking in a common language alienates others from the conversation. Though it is acceptable to talk in your native language where strangers surround you, it is rude to do so when you’re in a group trying to have a conversation.
In social gatherings, you would have witnessed people looking lost and trying to have a conversation with their smartphones to appear occupied. Let’s not be the person who makes them whip out their phones from their pockets. Use the language to connect and include people around us.
There, I said it.