LOVE, LOSS AND CONNECTIONS

I’ve been contemplating writing this post, but the thought itself was overwhelming, so I avoided penning it. Here I am spilling words all over the page-from my heart to the world.

It’s been rough the last few days for our family. My father-in-law, who was battling a disease, finally surrendered and succumbed to it. As if the loss was not enough, my husband and I scrambled to connect to the Indian consulate to get an emergency visa for my husband; As we live in the USA while my in-laws in India.

But all the doors to get a visa seemed to be closed because of the pandemic–The website said the normal visa processing was unavailable, and the consulate office closed. But then I found a number on their website which said call in case of death. I glimmer of hope lit-up. I dialed that number and all the other phone numbers that came about in my search.

I kept calling.

The phones kept ringing.

And no one picked-up.

The voicemail box was full.

I wanted to help my husband in this time of loss, so he could be with his mother and perform the last rites for his father. The situation was clearly an emergency, but there seemed to be no solution. I was mad, helpless and remembered the dialogue from the movie Dory,

"When there is no way. There is always another way!"

I asked help from the universe. And it came.

A couple of our friends who had ‘connections’ offered to help my husband get an emergency visa to India.

Connections worked. They always do.

The need to use connections during this dire situation was embarrassing, and it wouldn’t be required if someone on the other end had done their job of answering my phone calls OR urgently responded to my urgent email.

None of that happened, and we had to use connections.

As I breathed in relief about my husband finally getting a visa and flying to India, another of my friend’s dad (also in India) passed away. My friend called me to find out what to do as I had gone through the same situation a couple days ago. I wish I could tell you that my friend had a different experience than I, but no. The same story repeated.

My friend also sent an email to the consulate requesting an emergency visa stating the reason,’ father’s demise’. He also received an email response to call on the number in case of an emergency. The phones kept ringing. And no one picked up.

And once again, connections came to the rescue.

This experience made me ponder about the importance of networking and having genuine connections. I realized that the connections are our extensions, and so when our hands seem tied-up, these connections give us the wind beneath our wings to reach to the places where we can’t, offering help, warmth, and support in times of need.

However, these connections or networks are not formed overnight. They take months and sometimes years to build. Transforming what starts as an awkward handshake into a meaningful relationship requires nurturing and, most of all being authentic and an intention to help. Always ask, “How can I help?”

So my dear readers, take time to build and nurture these connections- both professional and social. Having the right connections, which not just exist but thrive, can offer respite when you’re lonely, and, most importantly, help you live a fulfilling life. [Besides helping you go past the bureaucracy which happened in our case.]

Cover Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Photo by 🇨🇭 Claudio Schwarz | @purzlbaum on Unsplash

4 comments

  1. Firstly may his soul rest in peace.sometimes I ponder how difficult it gets not being with the family when they need us the most,probably this is the irony of staying abroad for work. Glad that you could make ur presence at that point of time. Being selfless is the key for any relationship.to be available always n in all the ways is what matters. Building relations socially n professionally is the need of the hour as most of us stay away from our immediate families so creating a bond is the basic requirement. Cherish the people around you .they are your family .
    Take care of yourself.love n hugs 😘

  2. Heart felt flow of words, Harshita.

    I can just try to understand what you & your husband, and the other family members would have gone through during these extra difficult times.

    More power to you, you ll reach places with your honest writings.

    Best Always

  3. First and foremost may you all live in His Glory and Blessings.
    The angst of helplessness and loss is so palpable that my heart aches .
    Written from the heart …
    It’s true that our friends are the wind beneath our wings.
    May his soul rest in light and peace.

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