If you’re like me, hailing from another country and making a life in another one, most likely you’re sailing in two boats at the same time.
SAILING IN TWO BOATS
Just like me, you are most likely connected to your native place through your family, friends, and childhood memories. With each festival, food, fragrance, movies, or a tiny sliver of a thought, you transport to your heritage country. And the memories are so livid that if you actually extend your arms, you could touch your loved ones, grab a cup of chai and share a joke with them.
WHERE are you from?
Just a few days back, a stranger in the park asked me, “Where are you from?” As I was trying to figure out how to answer this question, he sensed my confusion and followed up with another question, “I meant, you have an accent, so you are not from here. Where are you from?”
What I didn’t tell?
I am a kite in the sky tied to two strings, both equally strong. One string is the land where I’m building memories. The other is the place where I grew up and made memories.
I’m sailing in two boats.
When one boat is rocked…
When the waters get rough and one boat rocks, the other boat keeps me afloat. I’m proud to sail through the experiences of diversity in people, culture, relations, food, festivals, and languages. It has made my life richer and empathetic.
What if, and will I reach on time?
BUT.
Sailing in two boats comes with its own predicaments.
Last few weeks, my WhatsApp swelled up with news about COVID, and the pandemic ruined my plans to visit India. Surrounded by grim news, the fear inside is real: Will I reach on time when my loved ones need me?
The ache to visit your native place is real too. A part of me still breathes at my native place in the memories I created. I’m like Hansel, in the fairytale HANSEL AND GRETEL, leaving a trail of tiny breadcrumbs in the places I’ve lived, and there’s something magical about returning to those places to pick up those crumbs and feel home.
So, where is the light?
“Be grateful for the things and people you have in your life. Things you take for granted someone else is praying for”
― Marlan Rico Lee
My sister recently shared this quote in one of our video calls. Simple yet so profound. It dramatically shifted my perspective. Don’t we have much to be thankful for?
Since then, I offer gratitude to the universe for gifts as abundant as the stars in the sky.
But where is home, really?
Home is not a geographical place. It is not confined by borders or walls. Ever wondered if people living inside leave, home returns to being a structure again. So where is home, really?
Home
is in
snuggles
a surprise kiss
laughter
a shoulder
hot cooked food
shared conversations
a no-judgment zone
spaces in between
where the distances
fade away.
That’s where I belong.
That’s my home
Really.
And I carry it in my heart
If you want
I’ll unroll it for you
and you can visit
too.
My home.
Really.